Hit a block in my planning, started typing to myself. Here are the crazy wacky results.
So how are you today?
Oh I am fine, how are you?
I’m good, been a bit stressed though, you know how it is? This and that and the next thing, they all add up don’t they, makes you glad to get home and climb into bed with a Horlicks and a good book.
So how is your planning for nanowrimo going?
Och ok. It could be better I suppose, but that is just being picky isn’t it. I wish I could think of a better idea though it is getting a bit depressing hitting all of these dead ends constantly.
Well I can’t think of a way to get the 'hero' of the story actually into the story you know. He is there I know he is there but i don’t know why he would need to be there to begin with you know. It is driving me mental!
Well, why do you need him to begin with?
Because this is my story and I want an older dude love interest involved.
Why does he have to be older though?
Because young guys bug me stupid that is why!
Why do they bug you?
What are you? A shrink?
No I am not a shrink. I am asking you these questions for your own good. So why do young guys bug you?
Because of the way that they are portrayed in fiction! Well, the fiction I have been reading lately anyway. It is like they are being constantly ruled by their emotions. I mean, don’t get me wrong I am sure that some of them are able to control themselves but is it just a guy thing that all they can think about is sex? I am hoping that by having an older male in the lead male role I will be able to paint the relationship on more of an emotional level.
Because not everything is physical! Everything is shown to be too physical. I want the little things to be why my characters care about each other. I want them to love each other because of that funny snort one of them does when laughing. Or that way that they try to stay in the background all the time, or bark louder than they normally do when they are worried. I don’t want it all to be hormones and biology.
I can see where you are coming from…
But you are going to have to put some kind of physical stuff into this story you do realise that don’t you.
Well, yeah, I’ll have them kissing.
Don’t look at me like that.
Is that all?
And you expect to be able to sell this book do you.
This book is for me thank you.
Who are you kidding? Everyone who writes a book has the hope that one day they will be discovered even if they don’t admit it to themselves.
You are a shrink aren’t you?
This is about you not me.
Yeah whatever, avoiding the subject much?
So you expect to be able to sell this with ONLY kissing.
Ummm why not? Jane Eyre is considered a classic and you don’t get the bedroom/couch or whatever scenes in THAT do you? It is all emotional.
Sorry honey but you ain’t no Charlotte Bronte. And you’ve read all the study guides to that book. You know that there was sexual tension bubbling hotter than Vesuvius under the surface.
So, how is it going?
YOU again! What do you want?
I'm just here to see how the planning is coming along? You know keep up the prep and all that.
I am sticking my tongue out at you right now – just so you know.
Hey that isn’t very nice I am only here to help.
Well maybe you can go somewhere else to help, have you ever thought of that?
Nope can’t say I have. I am your little annoying voice. Not anyone else’s.
Give me strength.
Oh man up already! Tell me how you are doing and let’s get this over with.
Wow you seriously need to take some customer care courses.
I am ignoring you right now just so you know –
Are you trying to be funny?
- now where did we leave of yesterday? Ah yes, the hero of the peace.
Hero! I think I am going to chuck him out of the story and have her hook up with the freakin’ squid if he doesn’t start cooperating. Why can't more YA books have older dude to younger chick ratios and then I would have some kind of idea how to do this.
Want to know what your problem is?
Not really but you are going to tell me anyway aren’t you?
Now you really need to work on your attitude, it’s not my fault your make believe characters aren’t playing nice with you.
Fine, I’m sorry. Now what’s my problem oh mighty one?
You are too concerned about what other people are going to be thinking of this story.
What! Only yesterday you were getting at me because I wasn’t going to put any sex in the story and now you are telling me that-
Yeah well that was yesterday. Today I am telling you that you are worrying too much about what other people will think. About what their views would be. You need to write this how you would want it to go and not like you mother is hanging over your shoulder while you are writing.
I am still not putting any sex in the book. Kissing yes, sex NO!
Fine, whatever. But you really do need to start having this the way you want it to go. Make is Mary-Sue-ey if you want, have bits that have fan-fiction-yeah-right-like-that-would-ever-happen written all over it, if you want you can go back and fix it all afterwards. Have the dude proclaim his undying love to MC - have you named her yet by the way?
Ok. Well have dude – have you named him yet?
Um, if I say no will you hurt me?
Have you named any of them?
Well I’m thinking of naming someone who dies –
Someone dies in this story?
No but if I name one of them Neville he will!
Do I want to know why?
I was bullied at school by a kid called that. I think it is time for some pay back don’t you?
Swiftly moving on. Have XY proclaim undying love to XX on the first page if you want.
I am not doing that.
I am trying to make a point here. No one is going to be judging you while you write this.
You are a shrink aren’t you?
Let it go already and listen will ya!
Fine. Write like my mother isn’t hanging over my shoulder. Got it.
So the idea was to give myself 10 minutes to try and talk it out with myself - I do this all the time. I usually write this out long hand but as the typing is going to need to be up to scratch I decided to WP it instead.
My head is a scary place isn't it. Mwaahaahaaahaaaaa! *choke, splutter,cough*
Yeah probably plenty more to come in the next few days. :-)